Building a Wedding Guest List with Intentionality, Confidence, & Less Drama

1. Define Your Wedding Vision Together

Openly discuss what feels important to you. How do you imagine your day? Intimate? A big celebration? Agree on a guest list that matches your vision for the day.


2. Consider Budget & Venue Constraints

Factor in per-guest costs & venue capacity. It’s important to balance what you want with what you can afford.


3. Decide on Non-Negotiables

Create personalized rules. Ex:

✓ They are actively part of our lives.
✓ We have spoken in the last year.
✓ They know BOTH of us.
✓ This is someone whose presence will enhance the celebration and joy of the day.


4. Avoid These Kind of Invites

Don’t invite anyone out of pressure, expectation, obligation, guilt, fear, or just-in-case.


5. Plus-Ones Policy

Only extend plus-ones to guests who are married, engaged, or in a long-term partnership. OR, allow plus-ones only if you’ve met the partner before and like the idea of them being there. 


6. Children Policy

Decide whether you prefer no children or if you generally love the idea of kids at your wedding. Be sure to clarify age range or reach out to exact family members to avoid confusion.

7. Involve Loved Ones in Other Ways

If you are planning on an intimate ceremony, you can invite more guests to the reception to celebrate. If you are planning on an intimate day as a whole, you can invite more guests to celebrate with you on another date, before or after the wedding.

8. Prepare for Pushback

Prepare kind responses for people who may expect an invitation but won’t receive one. “We wish we could have everyone there, and we’ll be thinking of you on our special day!“ We know this is a touch decision, but we’ve carefully thought about what works best for us!”

9. Limit Input

Set boundaries. You might choose to let your family, friends, & vendors know your plan. Or you might choose keep it private. Either way, remind others that the final decisions rest with you.

10. Focus on What Matters

This is your wedding. You are not responsible for making others happy. You can’t control their feelings. You can still show understanding & acknowledge how someone else feels - while protecting your boundaries.

XO, Dakota