What is Eloping & Why Should We Do It?

Reasons to Elope

First of all, what is an elopement?

The word “elope” first came about in the 1300s to describe an individual that wanted to escape or run away from their “master.” It originally derived from the Anglo-French word “alope.” In the 1600s, “elope” gained it’s romantic meaning for two individuals running off to get married without the consent of their parents. During the late 1800s and early 1900s, eloping became quite popular & was said to have reflected a time of young people striving for independence and rebelling against their faith and their families. Even though it’s 2024 and so many things have changed in regard to what tying-the-knot looks like, elopements still seem to carry the negative connotations that were brought about over 700 years ago. But, that’s not what eloping means anymore.

Today, “elope” simply means to intentionally choose to have a small, intimate wedding experience. That’s it.

Honestly, I used to get a little frustrated when I would mention to people that I shot elopements and they would look at me like I had just done something wrong. It’s important to know that you can’t expect people to understand something unless they have either learned about it or experienced it. It’s also important to note that every state, region, & country (across the globe too) has a wedding culture. This is not a bad thing, but what it does mean is that for places like Alabama and the general Southeast, elopements (and intimate weddings) still don’t have the notoriety that big weddings do. And yet this is where my heart is.

Before I start delving into the rest of this article, you should know that your wedding experience can be whatever you want it to be. Eloping might not be right for you. Having an intimate wedding might not be right for you. Having a big wedding might not be right for you. Maybe you don’t know what’s right for you yet & are trying to figure that out (a great place to start is reading How to Plan Your Wedding or Elopement). At the end of the day, what matters is that you are getting to marry your best friend.

So, how do you know if eloping is right for you?

You want a wedding experience that is unique to just the two of you.

When I ask my couples why they chose to elope, the one resounding thing I’ve heard is that it just felt like them & it made the most sense to celebrate their love this way. Eloping can offer a more personally curated experience without the formalities that are often involved with larger weddings. You get to focus more on your connection with each other & the things that you value the most.

You want to have a less stressful wedding experience.

Getting engaged is such an exciting time because that means planning has commenced. After a few weeks, the realization of how much needs to be done, all of the vendors you need to contact, all of the guests you need to invite, all of the deposits you need to secure, all of the tasks you need to execute - can be overwhelming. On top of planning, there are also many couples who have had to deal with the pressure or obligation to do those things a certain way to accommodate the wishes of others. While eloping can still require a lot of planning, it tends to be on a smaller scale & that can help tremendously with the stress load. And, you get the benefit of having a photographer who can help you with all of the ins & outs of planning your elopement!

“Okay, but we just can’t imagine not having our family there with us.”

There are no rules that say you can’t have your closest family with you on your special day! I’ve photographed elopements with 10-15 other people present (we now call these micro weddings). The biggest things are considering your elopement location & accessibility for your guests.

“What if we want to elope with just the two of us, but also want to celebrate with all the rest of our family/friends too?”

You can totally have your cake & eat it too, friend! Here are a couple of elopement alternatives.

1. Celebrate a couple of weeks/months before your elopement.
2. Elope & celebrate immediately following your ceremony.
3. Elope & celebrate at a later date.

At the end of it all, this day is for you.

I know there is a lot of fear surrounding the idea of announcing to your family & friends that you’ve decided to elope. Because we care about those people, we hate the thought of disappointing them. The truth is that no matter what you decided to do - elopement, micro wedding, intimate wedding, big wedding - you can’t please everyone and you don’t have to. It may make some people sad or mad. It make take a few time to get used to the idea. It’s going to make some super happy for you. Having those conversations is hard & even harder to do with grace + kindness sometimes. It certainly takes courage, but when what it is potentially the best day of your life is the topic, it’s 100% worth it. Because at the end of the day, you get the same prize that every couple does - saying “I do” to your best friend.

My biggest hope for you if you made it to the end of this page is that:

1. If you are planning your elopement or wedding, you have a clearer picture of what it is that you want to do & feel encouraged to do just that.

2. If you didn’t know what an elopement was before reading this page, that you have the truth of what they are all about.

3. If you are the family or friends of someone who has chosen to elope or have an intimate wedding, that this information will help you process their decision & support them with all of the love in your bones.

Whether you are eloping, having an intimate wedding, or going big - I am all about couples who do what matters to them. If you need a friend who has your back, a photographer to tell your story, & a guide to help you along the way - I’d love to connect with you!

XO, Dakota