How to Elope | What Eloping Means, Why It Might Be Right for You, How to Plan Your Elopement

Why Eloping Is Becoming a Top Choice for Couples | The Appeal of a more Personal Wedding Experience

Updated: March 4, 2025

For many couples, planning a wedding can feel very overwhelming. From managing guest lists to sticking to budgets, there's a lot of pressure to create a "perfect" day.

But what if there was another way?

Eloping has become an increasingly popular choice for couples who want a wedding day that’s truly about them - one that focuses on their love without all the extra fluff.

I’m not here to pit lovers of elopements, against lovers of weddings or vice versa. Elopements & weddings are both celebrated here (and I document it all). This blog is meant to help you see the differences and make an informed decision about one most special days of your life.

There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to getting married, and that’s where eloping offers something special.

Okay. Let’s dig in.

What does it mean to elope?

The word “elope” first came about in the 1300s to describe an individual who wanted to escape or run away from their "master." It originated from the Anglo-French word “alope.” By the 1600s, the term gained a romantic meaning, referring to two individuals running off to get married without the consent of their parents. During the late 1800s and early 1900s, eloping grew in popularity, especially among couples in love who defied the conventions of arranged marriages or societal expectations. It was a symbol of youthful rebellion, independence, and sometimes, a challenge to the traditions of family or faith. However, this romantic notion of elopement also carried with it a certain stigma—many viewed eloping as a sign that something was being hidden or that a marriage wasn't "legitimate." Even though it's now 2025, and our view of weddings has evolved dramatically, the word "elope" still sometimes carries those outdated, negative connotations.

But, that’s not what eloping means anymore.

Why Have Elopements Gained more Popularity In Recent Years?

Today, “elope” simply means to intentionally choose to have a small, intimate wedding experience. That’s it. It’s that simple.

Honestly, I used to get a little frustrated when I would mention to people that I shot elopements and they would look at me like I had just done something wrong. It’s important to know that you can’t expect people to understand something unless they have either learned about it or experienced it. It’s also important to note that every state, region, & country (across the globe too) has a wedding culture. This is not a bad thing, but what it does mean is that for places like Alabama (where I’m based) and the general Southeast, elopements still don’t have the notoriety that big weddings do. And yet this is where my heart is.

Eloping might not be right for you. Having an intimate wedding might not be right for you. Having a big wedding might not be right for you. Maybe you don’t know what’s right for you yet & are trying to figure that out (a great place to start is reading How to Plan Your Wedding or Elopement).

What is the difference between eloping and other kinds of weddings?

“Getting married” covers a lot of ground, and within that umbrella, you’ll find elopements, micro-weddings, intimate weddings, mid-range weddings, and luxury weddings. Each of these can look vastly different depending on the couple’s preferences, budget, and vision for their special day. So, how does eloping stand apart from the rest?

1. Elopements

Elopements are usually characterized by their very small (or non-existent) guest lists (less than 10 people) and forgoing larger celebrations & formalities for an intimate atmosphere.

2. Micro-Weddings

A micro-wedding shares some similarities with an elopement in its focus on intimacy, but it typically includes a guest list around 10-30 people. The inclusion of more guests layers in a few formalities that you might see in a more traditional wedding, but while still keeping the celebration on a much smaller scale.

3. Intimate Weddings

An intimate wedding typically refers to a wedding between 30-75 people. These weddings look like traditional weddings, but maintain focus on meaning like elopements do, with a limited guest list.

4. Mid-Range Weddings

A mid-range wedding includes ALL of the traditional wedding elements. These weddings have anywhere from 75-150 guests and feature a venue, wedding parties, an officiant, a longer ceremony, cocktail hour, a seated dinner, toasts, first dances, entertainment, & other formalities.

5. Luxury Weddings

A luxury wedding is the largest and most extravagant of all wedding types. These weddings usually have 150+ guests and feature high-end venues, elaborate décor, gourmet food, top-tier vendors, meticulous planning, & a seamless experience. It’s a full-scale, sometimes multi-day event with significant attention to every detail. The focus is on creating an extravagance & premium service at every turn.

What Sets Eloping Apart?

While all these wedding options focus on celebrating love, what truly sets eloping apart is the emphasis on personalization, freedom, & flexibility. Elopements allow couples to create a wedding day that reflects their relationship, without accommodating a large guest list or the formalities of bigger wedding.

The Pros & Cons of Eloping vs. a Bigger Wedding

Elopements

• more control over how you allocate your money (spend on necessities & desires, prioritize experiences, no per-head costs, can splurge on desired vendors)

• less stress, more relaxed (low guest count, fewer vendors, simpler logistics)

• intentional & personalized planning to have a more curated experience

• intimacy & privacy

• more flexibility in your schedule, timelines, and with vendors

• focus on what is important to you; less pressure, no obligations, no need to please everyone

• less drama with friends & family

• the day is built around the two of you & spending more time together

• freedom to explore, adventure, and incorporate meaningful activities

• naturally lend themselves the ability to create a day that is truly unique to you

• avoid the influence of wedding industry pressures & conventional standards

• generally requires less time to plan; more streamlined planning

• less environmental impact; less wasteful and more resourceful

• unique locations, settings, & photo opportunities based on the couple

• encourages spontaneity and makes room for unexpected moments

• no wedding-day fatigue
  

Weddings

• less flexibility in where your money goes (built-in costs, per-head costs, rental fees, packages, required fees, preferred vendor lists)

• more nuanced; complexity of managing more guests, vendors, & logistics

• more moving parts & less opportunity for personalized planning

• larger crowds and more eyes on you

• more rigid schedule & timeline to accomodate venues/vendors

• increased pressure or likelihood to oblige the requests of friends & family

• more potential for family dynamics or conflicts to emerge

• less quality time with your partner to keep up with formalities/timelines

• more limited to what is readily accessible on-site; not enough time for meaningful activities

• harder to create a truly distinctive event because they are more standardized

• pressure to conform to popular wedding trends & expectations

• more time, coordination, meetings to ensure everything runs smoothly

• bigger ecological footprint due to the size of the event and materials used

• photo opportunities may be more standardized & less focused on individuality

• little room for last-minute changes or surprises

• more exhaustion trying to keep up with the day
  

How to Know if Eloping is Right for You

When planning your wedding or elopement, it’s essential to start with the big-picture questions.

Who are you planning this day for? What do you truly want from the experience - intimacy, a grand celebration, or something in between? What elements matter most to you - whether that’s the people you’ll share it with, the memories you want to create, or the experience itself?

Once you have a clear sense of your priorities, you can move forward and start mapping out the other details - budget, timing, location, who will be part of your special day, etc.

The Benefits of Eloping

More control over how you allocate your money

Eloping doesn’t always mean cheaper, though for many couples, it tends to be more cost-effective. While eloping can often reduce costs compared to a traditional wedding, some couples choose to invest the same amount (or even more) but in different ways—such as travel, unique experiences, accommodations, the honeymoon, or high-end vendors. Ultimately, eloping allows you to allocate your budget in a way that aligns with your priorities, giving you the freedom to spend on what matters most to you.

Less stress, more relaxed

Getting engaged is such an exciting time because that means planning has commenced. After a few weeks, the realization of how much needs to be done, all of the vendors you need to contact, all of the guests you need to invite, all of the deposits you need to secure, all of the tasks you need to execute - can be overwhelming. While eloping can still require a lot of planning, it tends to be on a smaller scale & that can help tremendously with the stress load. And, you get the benefit of having a photographer who can help you with all of the ins & outs of planning your elopement (wink)!

Intentional & personalized planning for a more curated experience

Eloping provides the flexibility to craft a ceremony that reflects who you are as a couple. Your wedding day can be as unique and intimate as you wish, designed around your tastes and values. It can showcase your personality, your style, your interests. It can be as loud or as quiet as you want it to be. You can go with something serene or something more bold. You can design every detail around what feels the most meaningful and makes the most sense to you.

Intimacy & privacy

Elopements are all about focusing on each other, without distractions. You can share a private moments without feeling like you are performing for a large crowd. You get to be fully transparent, fully present, fully yourselves.

More flexibility in your schedule, timelines, and with vendors

Most vendors hired for larger weddings are contracted for a set amount of time or coverage, which often forces you to work within their predefined schedules. This can limit your flexibility and may lead to a rigid timeline. When you elope, you have the freedom to choose vendors who truly align with your vision and needs, without being bound to a tight schedule. You can customize your timeline to fit your ideal experience, and if something needs to change, you can easily adapt or adjust it.

Focus on what is important to you; less pressure, no obligations, no need to please everyone

Truth. At the end of the day, no matter how carefully you plan your celebration, you're probably going to hurt someone’s feelings—whether it’s a family member who feels left out, a friend who isn’t invited, or someone who had different expectations. It’s simply part of the territory. Eloping, however, allows you to sidestep much of that stress. With a smaller, more intimate guest list (or none at all), you’re not forced to navigate complex family dynamics or try to please everyone. While there might still be some feelings to manage, you have the freedom to create a day that’s authentically yours, without the added pressure of trying to accommodate everyone’s needs and desires.

Less drama with friends & family

With a smaller guest list (or none), eloping minimizes family drama, expectations, or conflicts. You can have peace knowing that you’re surrounded only by those who truly support and celebrate you.

The day is built around the two of you & spending more time together

Eloping allows you to build a day that prioritizes the two of you, giving you more time to enjoy each other’s company. Rather than splitting your attention between hundreds of guests and following a packed timeline, you can focus on your partner and making memories.

Freedom to explore, adventure, and incorporate meaningful activities

Eloping offers the perfect opportunity for adventure and exploration, allowing the world to be your playground while finding a location that reflects your shared interests or hobbies. You could hike to your ceremony, enjoy a romantic dinner at a local gem, kayak around a lake, rappel down boulders, gaze at the stars, take a dip in the ocean, or watch the sunset from an overlook. The possibilities are endless.

Ability to create a day that is truly unique to you

When I ask my couples why they chose to elope, the one resounding thing I’ve heard is that it just felt like them & it made the most sense to celebrate their love this way. You get to choose exactly how you want your day to unfold.

Avoid the influence of wedding industry pressures & conventional standards

Eloping provides a refreshing alternative to the pressures of the wedding industry. You’re free to opt out of trends and focus on what you want instead.

Generally requires less time to plan; more streamlined planning

With fewer moving parts and a smaller guest list, elopements typically require less time to plan & are more straightforward.

Less environmental impact; less wasteful and more resourceful

Since elopements are smaller in scale, they have a smaller ecological footprint. With fewer guests, you won’t need as much food, decor, or transportation, reducing overall waste. Moreover, elopements often encourage resourcefulness—whether that means choosing eco-friendly vendors, reducing the number of disposable items, or opting for natural settings that require minimal alteration. This simplicity allows you to enjoy your day without the guilt of contributing to excessive waste or resource consumption.

Unique locations, settings, & photo opportunities based on the couple

Eloping opens up a world of possibilities when it comes to location. A beach, a national park, a historical site, a cliffside, rolling hills, a bridge downtown, a city park, or an off-the-beaten-path spot that holds personal significance. Not only that, but one location can provide so much variety (texture, lighting, mood) to your photos!

Encourages spontaneity and makes room for unexpected moments

Eloping allows room for spontaneity. Whether it’s an unexpected detour or a surprise adventure, the freedom to go with the flow can make your day feel even more magical.

No wedding-day fatigue

Since elopements tend to be more low-key, there’s less pressure to stick to schedule. This means less physical and emotional exhaustion, allowing you to savor every moment of your day.

How to Plan an Elopement | An Overview

Define your vision – Decide what kind of elopement you want (location, vibe, style).

Set a budget – Determine how much you're willing to spend and allocate it accordingly.

Choose a date – Pick a date or season that works best for you.

Pick a location – Choose a meaningful or unique spot for your ceremony.

Obtain necessary permits – Check if you need permits or permissions for your chosen location.

Find your vendors – Select vendors that align with your vision & that will genuinely care for you.

Plan your attire – Pick outfits that are comfortable and match your elopement style.

Organize travel and accommodations – If you're traveling, arrange travel and lodging details.

Write your vows – Personalize your ceremony by writing your own vows.

Celebrate – Enjoy your elopement day the way you envisioned.

Reminisce - Live it all over again through your photos.

What Your Elopement Could Look Like

Picture waking up early in a cozy cabin nestled in the mountains or a cottage resting on the beach. It’s just the two of you, no crowds, no rush—only the quiet excitement of what’s to come. You sip your coffee together, feeling the calm of the morning, as you reflect on the journey that led you here.

As the day begins, you step into your beautiful, handpicked outfits. You feel comfortable. There’s no stress, no rushing; it's all about enjoying the moment.

Next, you head to your chosen elopement location where the only sound is the breeze rustling through the trees or waves crashing on the shore. You exchange your vows, surrounded only by the beauty of nature and the love between you (maybe with a handful of guests).

After the ceremony, you take a few moments to yourself, relishing the peace of the day. Maybe you go for a hike, explore a hidden corner of your destination, or simply relax and soak up each other’s company without the weight of expectations. It feels effortless.

Later, you enjoy a romantic, private picnic or dinner at a local restaurant you’ve been dying to try. The world feels like it’s yours to explore, with no time constraints—just the freedom to do exactly what you want.

As the sun sets, you’re still in awe of the entire experience, knowing that your elopement day was everything you hoped for and more. You’ve created an unforgettable memory together, built entirely around your love, your vision, and your story.

This is the beauty of an elopement: a stress-free, deeply personal experience that’s truly about you—a day full of love, adventure, and simplicity.

cost of eloping

Your location, lifestyle, personal preferences, travel, accommodations, & vendor choice will play a significant role in your overall elopement budget. In general, elopements can range from a few thousand dollars to tens of thousands, depending on the factors mentioned above. For example, a local elopement could be around $3,000-$5,000, while a destination elopement could range from $10,000-$20,000 or more. The great thing about eloping is that you have complete control over how much you spend—if you want a more budget-friendly celebration, you can make choices that keep costs low, or you can splurge on the experience you’ve always dreamed of.

How to Find Your Elopement Location

Choosing the perfect elopement location can be a fun and exciting process, but there are a few key things to keep in mind. Think about different landscapes, accessibility, the season and weather, as well as any permits or regulations that might apply. Your location should feel personal and special to you both.

For a more information on how to pick an epic elopement location, check out my post here.

Research & Obtain All Necessary Permits

Start by researching the location where you plan to elope. Many outdoor venues like national parks, beaches, forests, and even private lands require a permit for weddings AND photography/filming. Look up the official websites for your destination or venue, as they will usually have detailed information about permits, fees, and the rules for events or ceremonies. You can also reach out to local government offices or visitor centers for guidance and to ask about the specific requirements for obtaining a wedding permit. Some places only require permits for large groups, but others may have specific rules even for intimate elopements, such as limitations on ceremony size or timing.

Permit fees can vary widely depending on the location. Some permits are affordable (a few hundred dollars), while others, especially for popular destinations or high-demand locations, may cost more.

Permit applications can take time to process—sometimes several weeks or even months—especially for popular locations. Be sure to apply early to give yourself ample time to secure your permit, especially if your elopement is during peak season. Many locations have specific deadlines for submitting permits, so be sure to plan accordingly.

Once you've secured your permit, be sure to keep a copy of it with you on your elopement day. Some locations may ask for proof of the permit during your ceremony or while you’re shooting photos. Having the necessary documentation on hand can help prevent any issues from arising on the day of your elopement.

Busting Myths About Eloping

Myths

• elopements are impersonal & lack meaning

• elopements are done in secret

• elopements are short & rushed

• eloping is just to get a few photos

• elopements can’t include guests

• elopements can’t include children

• elopements can’t include any traditions

• elopements are cheap or cheaper than traditional weddings

• elopements skip right over celebration

• elopements are for only adventurous couples

• elopements make you less married

• elopements are less important

• elopements are selfish

• elopements are for lonely people

• elopements are shameful

• elopements are last-minute or unplanned

Truths

• elopements are deeply personal & meaningful

• elopements don’t have to be secret, but some couples choose to value privacy

• elopements can be intentional & unhurried

• eloping is about the experience, not just photos; a few photos can’t encompass this experience

• elopements can include guests

• elopements can include children

• elopements can honor traditions

• elopements can be affordable, aren’t always cheap, & you can choose how to allocate your money

• elopements are all about celebration

• elopements are for any couple, not just the adventurous

• elopements don’t make you less married

• elopements are just as important as big weddings

• elopements are about love, not selfishness

• elopements are for people who value intimacy, not loneliness

• elopements are empowering, not shameful

• elopements can be well planned and thoughtfully designed

at the end of the day, you get the same prize that every couple does - saying “I do” to your best friend.

How to Make Your Elopement Legal

Every state or country has different laws and requirements for making your marriage legal. In some places, you’re not legally required to have a ceremony, officiant, or witnesses, while in others, you are. Some may require you to appear at the courthouse, and some may not. Find out what forms you need, whether you need a notary, if there are any fees for notarizing or filing, and when your forms must be submitted. You might decide to handle the legal paperwork where you live first, then elope. If your state or country allows it, you may even be able to self-solemnize - meaning you’re legally married as soon as you sign the marriage license, with no officiant or witness required.

If You Decide to Not Involve Your Loved Ones

Telling your loved ones that you've chosen to elope can feel daunting, but you can communicate your decision thoughtfully. The key is to be honest, clear, and considerate of their feelings, while also expressing why eloping is the best choice for you as a couple. I know there is a lot of fear surrounding the idea of announcing to your family & friends that you’ve decided to elope. Because we care about those people, we hate the thought of disappointing them. The truth is that no matter what you decided to do - elopement, micro wedding, intimate wedding, big wedding - you can’t please everyone and you don’t have to. It may make some people sad or mad. It make take a few time to get used to the idea. It’s going to make some super happy for you. Having those conversations is hard & even harder to do with grace + kindness sometimes. It certainly takes courage, but when what it is potentially the best day of your life is the topic, it’s 100% worth it.

If you’re unsure how to start the conversation, I’ve created a letter template to help guide you through it: How to Tell Your Friends and Family That You've Decided to Elope.

If You Decide to Involve Your Loved Ones

If you just can’t imagine not having your family there with you, this is for you. There are no rules that say you can’t have your closest family with you on your special day! The biggest things are considering your ceremony location & accessibility for those guests. Invite the people you want to be a part of your day.

If you find that you want to elope with just the two of you, but celebrate with the rest of your friends and family, you can have your cake and eat it too. Here are a couple of alternatives.

1. Celebrate with family a couple of weeks/months before your elopement.
2. Elope & celebrate with family immediately following your ceremony.
3. Elope & celebrate with family at a later date.
4. Find ways to include your family in the planning process.

What vendors do You HIre for Your Elopement?

When planning your elopement, the vendors you choose will depend on the type of experience you want. Here are some common vendors couples hire for elopements:

• photographer

• videographer

• officiant

• hair and makeup artist

• floral designer

• travel planner/coordinator (though your photographer may have you covered on this)

• transportation

• catering

• cake designer

• musician or dj

Your Day, Your way

At the end of it all, this day is about you & for you. This is your story. This is your journey. This is your celebration. It should look the way you imagined it would.

My biggest hope for you if you made it to the end of this page is that:

1. If you are planning your elopement or wedding, you have a clearer picture of what it is that you want to do & feel encouraged to do just that.

2. If you didn’t know what an elopement was before reading this page, that you have the truth of what they are all about.

3. If you are the family or friends of someone who has chosen to elope or have an intimate wedding, that this information will help you process their decision & support them with all of the love in your bones.

Whether you are eloping, having an intimate wedding, or going big - I am all about couples who do what matters to them. If you need a friend who has your back, a photographer to tell your story, & a guide to help you along the way - I’d love to connect with you!