Should We Do a First Look?
Overview
If you are planning a wedding or elopement, chances are that you have been asked about or read about doing a “first look.” A “first look” per wedding industry terminology, is the bride & groom deciding to see each other before the ceremony.
When I create timelines for my couples, they are based on three particular points of the day: sunset time, ceremony time, & whether or not they are going to do a first look. Once those details are set, it’s easier for me to build the rest of the day around that.
So, what are the pros & cons of doing/not doing a first look?
First Look Pros
eases nerves before the ceremony by giving you a chance to catch your breath, talk, let out your emotions if you need to, & enjoy some time alone without the pressure of an audience (besides your photographer & videographer)
it gives you the chance to just spend more time with your best friend (usually an hour compared to only 15-30 minutes after ceremony)
it adds another special moment to your day
you typically save time by doing the larger portion of the day’s photos before the ceremony even begins, which also means that you’ll get to get food in your bellies faster, hang with your family & friends longer, & hit that dance floor a little harder.
First Look Cons
doesn’t keep to tradition
usually means that you will have to start getting ready a little earlier in the day
you might need a hair/makeup touch-up before the ceremony
First Look Myths, Busted
MYTH: Seeing each other before makes the moment down the aisle less suspenseful/steals your thunder.
TRUTH: The suspense is still there whether you do a first look or wait until you walk the aisle. Why? Simply because walking down the aisle moments before you say, “I do” is a beautiful & significant occasion. The bride & groom are still going to have their “first look” either way. The only thing that is actually different about the two is that an audience is present for one of them. What has to be determined is whether or not you feel it’s more important to let the first time you see each other be alone or in the presence of others.
When You Want to Wait & Don’t Want to Miss Out on Photos
If you want to wait until you walk down the aisle before seeing each other, but you know that means you won’t have many pictures together later - consider booking a post-wedding session. Hop in your wedding attire - just the two of you - and get additional wedding photos after your wedding. Less stress, no rush, more personal, more time together, & more space to get creative.
When the House Is Divided
If you differ on opinion, a great way to meet in the middle is to have a few moments alone without being able to see each other. You get the benefits of easing your the nerves/having some time alone/adding another special moment to your day, but still holding true to not seeing each other before the ceremony. You can even exchange letters you’ve written to each other. You can say some things that you want to say. You can play a song on your guitar or sing to each other. Use the time & space however you’d like.
Advice
talk to each other before you make a decision about doing/not doing a first look
if you decide to do a first look, be sure to include your photographer & videographer
if you decide to do a first look, make sure your significant other knows that your photographer & videographer will be there so that they aren’t worried/awkward about us seeing you
don’t have expectations of how your bride/groom should react, no matter what option you go with
do what is right for you two only & don’t worry about everyone else
Final Thoughts
I always encourage my couples to do whatever they want because it’s THEIR day. Just because something is traditional/popular/trendy, does not mean that you have to do it. I think it’s great that there is versatility in your options and I think it’s important that you know what is available to you.
If you are tying the knot soon, I hope that this helps give you some direction while you a planning your day. Talk to your significant other. Talk to your photographer. Do YOUR thing.
If you are a photographer, talk to your clients. Get an idea of what their wedding day is going to look like, let them know what those options will look like for them, & help their vision come to life. Work YOUR magic.
XO, Dakota Chasity